Blogging is hard.
I don’t find it hard to write. It’s hard to know what is acceptable to write.
“There are three sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently.” -Robert Evans
I started out on this venture wanting to share my truth. To simply tell my story. As the days go by and I think of stories to tell, I keep stopping myself. I’m realizing that things happening around me, and ‘to me’, aren’t just happening to me. And since I’m not the only person involved, I can’t be sure if what I am wanting to say is fair. Are the stories mine to tell. Just because a story is MY truth, doesn’t mean its THE truth.
Nothing about this medium is easy.
Since my first blog so much has happened. I left anyone who was reading in sort of a hopeful place. I had a goal, a game plan, and a something to hustle for. Picking back up now I am feeling anything but hopeful. Hustling is the last thing I want to do.
Pigsflyshop.com started off so hopeful, what happened..
I’ll tell you what happened. I’ve spent a good portion of the last 3-4 months, being told, ‘No’. In my job, my personal life, from my kids. I’ve told it to myself. I’ve even let strangers tell me ‘No’.
The hardest part to admit about that whole deal is that I let it affect me. I believed the ‘No’.
What sucks even more is that I am not in a position to be able to elaborate on most of the ‘No’ yet. The stories are either not solely mine to tell, or I know that the truth concerning certain crappy situations will have pretty big consequences. Since I cannot be positive how wide-spread they would be, or who would be affected, I am making a choice to hold my tongue until I can be positive.
So, what the hell do I write about in the meantime.
Today is New Year’s Day. I am in the same place I was last year, feeling the same way I do now. And it isn’t good.
I just can’t even..
I’m serious, I don’t even feel like blogging this. I can’t! HA!
I need action and a good solid ‘YES’. This is going to be vague and we are just going to get moving.. Bear with me.
Long story short- I have decided to spend the rest of this year, trying to do every single thing that I was told I couldn’t. That is my resolution.
At the end of it. The goal is to be in a position where I feel it is fair, and right, and safe to tell my stories. To have disproved the ‘No’. To believe in myself again.
F*ck your ‘No’.
The first ‘No.’- Design a marketable book of scrap-booking paper.
This was never a goal of mine. It fell into my lap, and then directly out of it just as quickly. It was a ‘No’ I never asked for, but now I want a ‘Yes”.
I’ll explain later, I promise..
So let’s get started.