This last month has been a whirl-wind. I knew going into this whole deal that being a one employee business would be a challenge, but dang. I feel comfortable admitting that the learning curve was a little sharper than I expected and the workload has been a tad overwhelming. I realize that this has a lot to do with the projects that I’ve been hired for, and the projects that I just want to do. Pigs Fly Shop has always been the place that I can go to just, create. While I’m absolutely getting to do that, turning it into a business means that I now have to prioritize my creativity. I am still struggling with this part.
This last month I’ve created logos, t-shirts, edited photos, completed paintings, began illustrating a children’s book, launched an apparel line/storytelling project. I’ve done work for multiple non-profits, volunteered, designed event invitations, restaurant menus, band merchandise, done web design, and began creating my own license free font catalog. I’ve approved music mixes, publishing deals, begun album artwork for multiple musicians, including myself. I’ve built store displays, booth set-ups, developed branding concepts, mocked up murals... And so, much, more.
As I sit and actually type all of these things out, I realize that I have been doing so, so much. I see it! But for some reason I still feel like I’m either moving forward at a snail’s pace, or maybe not moving at all. Which is ridiculous. I know enough about myself to know that my need for immediate results and gratification is one of my biggest flaws, and has caused some of the most catastrophic damage in my life. Pigs Fly Shop has already taught me so much, and is still the place I go to learn. About trades and tools, lessons and failures, myself and relationships. I think today and for the foreseeable future the lesson is going to be patience, and learning what my own definition of “success” is.
A friend of mine recently shared this quote with me... “Growth for the sake of growth is the modus operandi of a cancer cell.” I’m not sure who originally said that, but I repeat it to myself daily and have added to it what I’ve just realized might actually be my own definition of success. “Growth for the sake of healing, is the M.O. of a cure.”
I had jumped head first into Pigs Fly Shop because I needed a cure. I was drowning at work, in my relationships, as a parent, in my vices, and I was done. Luckily, long ago, I trained myself to believe that no matter what crap situation you find yourself in, there is always a way out. ALWAYS. While what I was doing professionally was lucrative, it felt like it was squeezing the life out of me. Pigs Fly Shop was my way out. It IS my way out. I have to remember that.
At some point monetary growth will become priority. It has to, obviously. I want PFS to be successful but mostly I want to remove doubt, and worry, and instability from mine and my children’s lives. I want to be proud of the way we do it, and I want them to learn everything that was taught to me so they will always be able to hustle if they have to. That is the “why”. The “how” is what is struggling and why I am doubting myself.
But. Patience. We’ve only just begun.
So, while there is still enough quiet time in between all of the projects, before money becomes the priority, and before my savings runs out… I need to remind myself that PFS was supposed to be a place where growth was meant for healing. Personally, and professionally. I can’t rush it, I can’t fake it. You either do the hard work, or you don’t. Either way you earn the outcome. My business model and my personal model are interchangeable. I believe that success starts with always doing the next right thing. Professionally, leaving a toxic, stressful company and starting one that I could believe in was the next right thing. Personally, remembering who I am, becoming who I want to be and then sharing that with my family, is the next right thing. I believe, everything is going to work out.
So today I am learning patience. I resolve to remind myself that the goal is not growth for the sake of growth. The goal is growth for the sake of healing, and for a cure